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From Arun version 8 to 9!

"There are no neurotics or geniuses or failures or fools. There are only neurotic moments, flashes of brilliance, failed opportunities, and stupid mistakes. But these moments, pleasant or unpleasant, can never fix us into rigid, immutable characters. We cannot help but change.”
-David K. Reynolds from Constructive Living

Yes, there are some foolish acts, failures, neurotic acts, stupid mistakes... I did in 2008. That cannot box me in. As the quote above states, they are individual moments.. They cannot fix us into immutable characters. I can change for the better and I will. (As Abraham Maslow once said, "What one can be, one must be!")

There is nothing to regret but to appreciate the best I had in 2008 gratefully. The best of life is still to come. The coming part (2009 onwards) of the life is going to be definitely better than my past. Relishing the NOW- looking forward with all of my heart, expecting Great things for God!

Dear God, Help me to be the best ever version of Arun! Update my software as I submit my internal code to you to program my core once again. I am yours! Sincerely-Arun

What I Have Lived For

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.

Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) won the Nobel prize for literature for his History of Western Philosophy and was the co-author of Principia Mathematica.

These words are from the Prologue to Bertrand Russell's Autobiography.

Two Solitudes

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other"

-Ranier Maria Rilke

Easter Special

March 5,2008

Today at my office 5.00 pm,I was seriously breaking my brains to get ideas to write the skeleton for a case study. There is only one christian apart from me in my office. Her name is Kondamal, the house keeping lady. A 40+ year old very devout christian women, always kind and very soft spoken. She used to do all the cleaning, sweeping, toilet cleaning at my office. She often rejoices when talking about Christ to all at office. Very openly she will share about prayer, her christian beliefs and church to all.

Today she brought a tamil bible to my collegue and asked my colleague to explain the scripture. My colleague asked me to explain as I am a christian.

I asked, "Is it a bible passage?". My colleague said, "you are a christian, you should be able to explain"

As often with me, I thought, how am I going to explain this?, what passage it is?.....etc..

She showed me the bible passage in the tamil bible said, "Arun Sir, this is the one page that I am getting everytime I opened the bible. Can you just explain?"

I said, "Ma, It is in tamil, you do know to read tamil, right? or you know how to read only in Telugu?".

She ( her mother tongue is telugu, not tamil) said, "Sir, I don't know how to read telugu. Tamil, I'm trying to read by adding the tamil aphabets. My parents and my grand parents never allowed us to go to school or taught to us."

I said," Ma, I will just read the passage, ok?" meaning, that I won't give any explanation. She gleefully nodded her head.

I read the scripture she showed me to read as best as I could in tamil. I was reading from my table. She was leaning towards my table.
The scripture I read to her is:

1Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. 2The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe 3and went up to him again and again, saying, "Hail, king of the Jews!" And they struck him in the face.
4Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews, "Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him." 5When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, "Here is the man!"
6As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, "Crucify! Crucify!"
But Pilate answered, "You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him."
John 19:1-6.

Suddenly, I heard some sound, I just looked up at her. Both her eyes was filled with tears and tears were just streaming down.

Realising that I saw her, she just wiped her tears and with smiles displaying all over her face, tilting her head (meaning thanks to me) took the bible from my hand and left.Inside me, sensing the impact of this small incident, I started wondering....

God, are we missing something?

What is your message?

Once, while Mahatma Gandhi's train was pulling slowly out of the station, a European reporter ran up to his compartment window. 'Do you have a message I can take back to my people?' he asked. It was Gandhi's day of silence, a vital respite from his demanding speaking schedule, so he didn't reply. Instead, he scrawled a few words on a scrap of paper and passed it to the reporter: "My Life is my message"

- Eknaath Easwaran

!!!

"In the twilight of life, God will not judge us on our earthly possession and human success, but rather on how much we have loved."

St. John of the Cross, 1542-1591
Christian Philosopher from Spain

One Article - Worth Reading!

"Being Loved Anyway"
From time to time, my Uncle Mike likes to pass along the wisdom of one generation to another.
On the subject of enduring love, for example, he and my aunt are models of believability. They like each other. They have a good time together. And they have managed it for roughly 41 years.
When someone asks him the secret, he is more than willing to share the fact that he modelled his own success on his father's. "My father would get up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, 'You're no bargain.'"
Perhaps I'm just tired of people who pick at each other's imperfections like pimples. Perhaps I know too many people trying to work out if their partner is living up to expectations. But I think Uncle Mike is on to something.
If you start your day looking your own flaws in the face, you might work up a very good appetite of gratitude before breakfast. If you know you're the one with more faults in the morning, by evening you could be overflowing with appreciation for someone who actually loves you anyway. From my own, not particularly vast, experience and my uncle's advice it seems that this is the glue of any long-term attachments: Being Loved Anyway.
There are at least two ingredients to the sticky business:
(1)You have to know your own worst, and
(2)You have to find someone who also know it, but doesn't think it's all that awful.
Being Loved Anyway, you see, is not being regarded as perfect but being accepted as imperfect.
I don't suppose that sounds very romantic. Other people may want sonnetc, flowers, and adoration. But frankly, adoration would make me nervous. I'd keep waiting to be discovered.
I have a divorced friend who got involved with a man who was in awe of her. It was outrageously flattering- for about three months. The problem was she could'nt shout at her children in front of him. The problem was, she had to keep washing her hair. She simply could'nt live up to it.
If there is a constant in life, it must be the human fear of being unlovable. Insecurity was invented by the first child who was caught misbehaving and asked his mother, "Do you love me anyway?"
That child lives in all of us. That child is the one making the decision every day between the safety of hiding and the risk of being discovered but Being Loved Anyway.
We are told people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has to be forgiveness and gratefulness. The understanding that, though you're not perfect, you love and you are loved. Anyway.
-Ellen Goodman
(a syndicated columnist, was awarded America's Pulitzer Prize in 1980)
Excerpt from Reader's Digest "Treasury of Wit & Wisdom" Collection

The most beautiful language

Have you wondered which language is the most beautiful and that anyone can appreciate?

Time and Time again, I feel I lack communication skills and I find myself asking how can I express my thoughts lucidly and whether it brings joy when I intend to share it.

I found the breed of real masters of communication. When they express joy , everyone around them rejoice and reciprocate. They communicate with such innocence, guilelessness and purity that the world around cannot stop themselves from communicating with them. When they are expressing their pain, the neighbors jump in to console them.

Do you wonder who they are? I found one at Church last sunday.

I was sitting in church listening to a sermon, in my front row was one master of communication. She was intensely expressing her joy in her own language, all the people who heard her and looked at her, were completely distracted and were showing their glee in response to her.

The master of communication I refer was a baby on her mother's shoulder.She was playing. She was giggling with all kinds of sounds. The whole row behind her was distracted from the sermon and was responding to her antics...

Her vocabulary is nil.
She can't even utter one complete word.
Her fragile smile without knowing any language makes any person to respond.

In one word to describe her language: 'Beautiful'

Man, I wonder what appeals to us in their language. It is not skills or vocabulary.

Its their innocence, fragile vulnerability, their wholesome frankness & honesty in displaying their feelings, absolute expression with all their being with innocuous movements of hands and feet, Not a single agenda hidden in their mind,............

Man, I cannot stop when I start to reflect......

Teach me more, Baby! O Baby!

90% of our life is....

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes.
- Rev. Charles Swindoll

One profound quote - How true!

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known.
Chuck Palahniuk

O me! O life!

O me! O life! of the questions of these recurring.
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill'd with the foolish.
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew'd.
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring -- What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer That you are here--that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

-WALT WHITMAN
-1819-1892

Excerpt: Conversation with God!

Man: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Man: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Man: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Man: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .
God : Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.

Man: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Man: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Man: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free
from problems?
God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.

Man: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Man: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Man: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Man: What surprises you about people?
God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Man: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.
God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Man: How can I get the best out of life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.Prepare for the future without fear.

Man: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Man: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!"

-Excerpt from the book 'Conversations with God'

Profound Words.

A person asked Confucious :
"What surprises you most about mankind?"

Confucious answered :
They lose their health to make wealth and then lose their wealth to restore
their health. By thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the
present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future and they
live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived..."

Dad to his son

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

Rocky Balboa
Speaking to his son in Rocky Balboa (2006)

!

To live without Hope is to Cease to live.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

A friend who cares.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
- Henry Nouwen in his book 'Out of Solitude'

A beautiful poem- by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God' plan in mind,
And thy bear the master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And, God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You 've been formed by the master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God

True Christianity: Wonder what its heart is?

I recently had the chance of reading a book titled,'Meeting Jesus Once again for the First time'- By Marcus.J.Borg, A Jesus scholar. He says, many people have an idea of Jesus that confines itself religious texts, he started to dig in the Jesus outside of the our religious texts and traditions. It's unfortunate for me to leave the book in London for I was devouring its first chapters.Its an amazing read. Some revelations in it are here for your perusal.

When God said, 'Be holy for I am Holy'. The Jews and religious people at that time equated that 'Be pure for I am pure' sensing it as clinical purity in its essence. They turned out to be very meticulous in following the nitty-gritty's of the tradition of sabbath and all other requisites of the religious law loosing the things of heart, God's character etc.. especially the most important ones. They were never able to realise in the centuries till Jesus came in of the error in interpreting the command faultily.

Jesus showed when God said 'Be Holy for I am Holy' as 'Be Compassionate for I am Compassionate'. Never ever they were told that Holiness meant wholeness in heart which is instinctually compassionate. I would encourage anyone who's interested to get and read it.One word for Jesus ministry is compassion- healing sick on sabbath breaking traditional laws, feeding thousands, setting bound set free...
Man, That was quite a revelation for me. I find still so many people who were totally missing out the essence in their religious pursuits and becoming obsessively and dogmatically attached to religious tradition where there is no heart or concern for people.

The word that has to be synonymous with Christianity should be Compassion.
Compassion
1. a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering
2. the humane quality of understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."

Ralph Waldo Emerson